We get questions. We give answers. Or, we try. We might chuckle a little. Forgive us. Pilot life has its own ups and downs and yes, its own funny bone.
Answers to Questions Pilot Wives Get Asked
1. Do you own a plane? No. Flying a plane and owning one are two different socioeconomic abilities.
2. Does the company loan the jet/plane for you to take on vacation? No. Wouldn’t that be something?
3. Aren’t you afraid your husband will crash on the job? Hadn’t thought about that until you asked. (Statistically speaking, our husbands are more likely to have an accident on the way to work. Just like you.)
4. Don’t you worry about him cheating/being around all those beautiful flight attendants? What an awkward question. Why should we worry when we’re such beautiful wives?
5. Where is he traveling today? We don’t know. It’s different all the time.
6. When will he be home? See #5 above.
7. Are you allowed to go with him on trips? First chance we get. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to hire nannies.
8. Is he armed with a gun on the plane? No. Our husbands are pilots, not law enforcement. (They are, however, in charge on a plane and they can kick anyone off.)
9. Can you come to our dinner party/adult-only event next week? We don’t know. If it’s an not off day, I’ll have to check with a babysitter to see if I can keep her kind of on call until we know closer to the day about what he’s doing, and then I can give you a confirmation the night before (that’s after I’ve confirmed with the babysitter and hoping she hasn’t taken another offer to babysit). And if she’s still good, then we’ll probably be able to make it. If the Pilot ends up being on call that day or evening, we’ll either have to come a little later or drive in two cars.
Or, I can just RSVP now with regrets.